Creep  An Hetalia Songfic
by Someone-you-do-not-know
Summary: Songfic about the song Creep performed by Radiohead. Romano thinks nobody loves him. WARNINGS: attempted suicide, attempted fluff, Romano's mouth, blood, emoishness, mention of cutting and starvation, boyxboy, nation personifications and authors rambling.


**A/N: I heard this song called Creep, and then I wanted to write Spamano. It ended being so emo-ish, that I considered not putting it up here. But I did it because of my strange friends who forced me. And now I'll ramble to those idiots in danish:  
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**Spain, din idiot nu har du bare at være glad. SÅ LÆS DEN, og sig ikke at du ikke var forberedt på det fordi det var du! Jeg fortalte dig at den var seriøst emo, og at slutningen var crappy! Og ekstremt fluffy. Så skrid, retarderede idiot.  
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**Creep:**

S. Italy POV:

Romano was home at Spain's as usual. Spain was out, so Romano didn't really know what to do, so he sat and listened to the radio. It was playing some american songs, he thought the song's name was Creep, but wasn't really sure. But he knew he had heard it before.

'_When you were here before'_

Romano thought of his childhood. That time were he just was a clumsy little chibi, who couldn't clean after himself.

'_Couldn't look you in the eye'_

He remembered how often he were too shameful about the way he acted, so he never looked into the eyes of his 'Boss'. Instead he always dodged so Spain never really saw how he felt*. Later, when he had become a nation, the southern part of Italy, he just avoided the spanish nation in general. Another reason was that he didn't wish for that tomato bastard to get involved in his Mafia**.

'_You're just like an angel'_

Spain was just such an idiot, so it was just impossible not to trust him with all kinds of stuff. Whenever Romano saw Spain he tried to look tough, since he knew the spanish man certainly never would love him back. The only thing he just couldn't stop was that stupid blush of his own. Why did he blush so easily?

'_You float like a feather_

_In a beautiful world' _

Romano could never make himself stop looking at Spain whenever he was around, he thought he spaniard was very graceful in his every movement, he'd always been, unlike himself.

'_I wish I was special_

_You're so fucking special'_

Romano would wish he wasn't so weak, so dumb, so bratty, clumsy, lazy, unartistic... If he was more like his idiot brother. Then Spain would possibly like him. Maybe even love him.

'_But I'm a creep_

_I'm a weirdo'_

The song's name was Creep, Romano realized because of the chorus. Romano wasn't fantastic like his brother. If you got too near he'd cuss you out, and he was simply so bad at expressing his own feelings. Like a rose. Except that Romano wasn't nearly as beautiful as that. Well, you get the picture!

'_What the hell am I doing here?'_

Why the fucking hell was there even two Italies? The world had only use of one anyway, and Romano knew which the world prefer.

'_I don't belong here'_

They all, Spain included, would much rather have his _fratello_ as the only representation of Italy. It was no secret that Spain had tried to trade Romano for his younger brother. Or that the same brother would rather be with that wurst-eating potato bastard than his big brother. Or that even his grandpa took the younger one in, while leaving the older to the mercy of other nations.

'_I don't care if it hurts_

_I want to have control_

_I want a perfect body_

_I want a perfect soul'_

Lovino wasn't faced about how, he just hated it when he wasn't in control of himself. He hated that 'tomato'-blush, that he couldn't control how he was around Spain. His methods was very different, but sometimes he cut himself, sometimes starved himself and sometimes he just went to the church, to confess his sins. Since it was all of the southern part of Italy's sins, it took rather long. He wasn't even through the medieval times yet. Lovino felt fucking disgusted about himself, so what the fuck must the rest of the world think about him. He did all of that, just so he could get that impure existance which was him to disappear.

'_I want you to notice_

_When I'm not around'_

Romano would never admit how much he wanted Spain to notice whether he was there or not. He knew that the other did brighten whenever Romano came over, but that could just be an act.

'_You're so fucking special_

_I wish I was special!_

But Romano was just so fucking inferior to everybody else, who would even care if he disappeared? Forever?

The song kept playing but Lovino had stopped listening. He instead went to the bathroom, he was shaking, but it wasn't like he hadn't done this before. Before his plan just hadn't been this... Extreme; he ususally just cut a bit, just so he could feel the pain lift away from his heart and go out to the cut instead. It wasn't that kind of pain he felt when he was at war. This was a more personal kind of pain. He listened to the music again.

'_She's running out the door_

_She's running out _

_She runs _

_runs_

_runs'_

He was so very near sticking the razor blade into his skin, when he suddenly hesitated. He thought that Spain might be sad once he found the body. _His body._ But then, Spain preferred Feliciano. Funny, how life is, the only person Lovino didn't hate***, just had to choose his brother over him. Romano choose his own path, and stuck the sharp blade deep into his wrist, right into his artery. His last thought before he fainted from bloodloss was _Ti Amo, Antonio._ The last thing he heard was Spain coming home.

Spain POV:

Spain had been out to buy tomatoes, their supply had somehow disappeared****. When he came home he called his Romanito. But the other didn't answer. Not even an 'where have you been, bastard?' or an 'What the fucking hell have you been out doing, idiot?' but he heard an song.

'_Whatever makes you happy_

_Whatever you want_

_You're so fucking special_

_I wish I was special'_

What an depressive song, Antonio thought. He forgot all about the song, since he still didn't knew where his Roma~ were. Maybe something had happened while he was gone? He knew the boy's self esteem really wasn't the best. Spain also knew about Romanos problems with himself, but he hoped that he could change his _tomate_'s opinion about himself.

"Roma~ where are you?"

Still no answer, Antonio was really worried now. He speeded up while opening every door he passed to check if his beloved Lovinito was there.

At last Spain found his tomatito in the bathroom, unconscious. Lovino lay sprawled out on the floor in a pool of his own blood. One arm lay dangling on the bathtub. The conscious rushed to the side of the one he truly loved.

"Romano, Romano, what happened? Lovino, _Mi amor_?"

Spain realized that the blood must be from a fatal place and started checking both wrists, and immediately found the cut. It wasn't big, but very deep, and right beside lay an razor blade. Without hesitating Antonio pressed his thumb down at the cut*****. with his other hand he grabbed his phone, forgetting everything about the tomatoes, and dialed the number for an hospital.

Spain hadn't slept once since he'd found his Romano on the brink of death. Luckily, according to the doctors, Spain had been fast enough to save Lovi from death. According to Spain, he had been too late to save Romano from even consider suicide. That was what the doctors said it was. Spain knew it was the half-nations way of saying help me. Love me. Just don't hate me. Spain knew that was true, because he could read the other as easy as nothing. Somehow that must be what he could instead of reading the atmosphere. Spain knew this tragedy was the whole worlds fault for ignoring him, and praising his brother. Spain knew he was the one who had begun. He had wanted to trade him for his brother. But at then, he didn't know the boy. Later, he found himself loving that bratty, dumb, weak, clumsy, lazy southern half of Italy more than anything else on this earth. And since the rest of the world couldn't care less if the southern part of Italy had attempted suicide (Except Veneziano, but he was too busy with his Luddie to come over to the hospital) so Antonio cared for the whole world.

"Nngh..."

It came from his Lovino's bed, and Antonio had instantly brightened. His _tomate_ hadn't awoken once in the last week he had been at the hospital. So since the younger had shown an lifesign Spain wasn't tired at all.

"Roma?"

S. Italy POV (and kinda both):

Romano tried to answer, but his voice was very hoarse, so all which came out was

"Wha...Bas..ar..."

And suddenly Lovino was getting hugged so much that he felt like dying. Again.

"Lovi, _Mi tomate_, I'm so happy you didn't die! Never ever do such a thing again, promise?"

Romano pushed Spain away, like usually, and took the glass of water right besides him. That helped a damn lot with his voice.

"What the fucking hell are you blabbering about, bastard? Why am I still alive, anyway? of course it could be hell, since you're here, but somehow I don't think so."

Spain pouted at the last remark, but brightened up again.

"You aren't dead, because I saved you, Lovi!"

"Who the fucking hell said I wanted to get saved?

"Well, nobody, but if you now had died, I wouldn't could do this, no?"

Antonio said, and then leaned down and kissed the other. Romano felt himself blushing more than ever before, but somehow he actually liked it, and he was really into this kiss. They both were. It didn't become more, but they both knew that many others would come later. Romano blinked and was a bit surprised, but then got himself together enough to say

"W-why did you do that, b-bastard?"

"I have loved you for so long, and just tried not to do anything before you'd let me. Please, Lovi, don't hate me. Because I love you."

"O-of course I don't hate you! How could I possibly hate you... I love you. _Te amo._ And yes that was fucking spanish, damn oblivious idiot."

And Lovino found himself getting hugged and kissed all over.

"Aaaah, stop that fucking idiot!"

"But why? It's so much fun!"

"Because I say so, retard!"

"Okay..."

Antonio looked sad over getting denied what he possibly had waited centuries to get to do. Showing how much he loved his beloved Lovi~. So Romano added

"Not here, anyway, fucker."

And Spain brightened up. Wow, there certainly wasn't much needed for getting that bastard going all happy.

"But I thought you preferred my brother. You did try to trade me for him, after all..."

"Well, I didn't know you at all at that time. But now I do. And I've fallen in love with you, as you are. And nobody else."

_~The end~_

*The eyes is the mirror of your soul. Or so i've heard.

**Incorrect fact, the nation with the second-largest Mafia is Spain. Surprise, huh? (Number one's of course Italy)

***Not included family and people. Of course

****Yes, it was Romano.

*****That is how you treat that. I know because of my (former) scout group...  
><strong>Crappy ending is crappy. And apparently very fluffy. There's only a little italian andor spanish, but nothing you shouldn't be able to guess. Hope you didn't die because of the emo-ishness or the (attempted) fluffyness. Again to my idiot:**

**Ja, jeg ændrede slutningen på min computer. Der var ikke plads på papiret alligevel. Review eller skriv til mig over facebook eller mobil om hvad du synes. Idiot.**

**Please review, and tell me what you think. I think it's crap...  
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